Aafster Life Banner

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A Love Letter



DEAR NANDO’S,

This is the first time I am writing a love letter to a restaurant chain. But what can I say? In the words of a big-nosed fella: you complete me. And you’re about to find out how, in a little more detail than you might anticipate.

My son has a runny nose these days. And when he gets a runny nose, he gets a nasal drip. And when he gets a nasal drip, he coughs. And if he coughs long and hard enough, he throws up. Tonight was one of those nights, Nando’s. I am telling you all this because relationships such as ours must be based on complete honesty. I don’t have help in the house these days, Nando’s. And I am allergic to detergent. The skin on my hands is scaly and splitting because of the daily dish washing. My knuckles were BLEEDING yesterday, Nando’s, and I’m still washing up in the kitchen ‘till past midnight every night. Do you feel my pain? I knew you would.

That’s why I called you tonight. Just when I thought the dishes were done, three more popped up, and the very idea of having to pick up that sponge again near killed me with misery. And then I thought, what if I had an incentive to finish? And what better incentive is there in the world for a woman than chocolate? And how else could I get hold of chocolate at 11.30 pm unless someone delivered it to my doorstep? That is when I picked up the phone instead of the sponge and dialed the number for your delivery service. I did not have high hopes, Nando’s, but an authoritative sounding guy whose name I don’t remember assured me that you deliver until 12.30 am. This was legit; I was in through the door. So I ordered one slice of your divine chocolate cake to be delivered at my house within 45 minutes. I now had a deadline in which to finish washing up the kitchen.

It was then that I heard my son coughing. And I ran to the room as fast as my horizontally ample legs could carry me, but it was not fast enough. Do you know what it feels like to confront the grossness of your poor son’s puke at 11.30 pm and realize that you now have another half hour of washing and cleaning up ahead of you? Do you understand that feeling that creeps up on the most determined of us mothers – the “I will NEVER get my life back again, ever-ever-ever” feeling? Do you get it? I knew you would. Because tonight, it was only the thought of that chocolate cake that kept me going, beloved Nando’s. Even as I believed that I would be cleaning vomit for the rest of my days, I still knew that there was chocolate cake around the corner. You saved me tonight.

Thanks to you, I will probably never need to go into therapy. Because each bite of that cake is worth an hour on the leather couch. A therapist could only listen, whereas your cake paints my troubles chocolate (yes, that’s a colour). I will finish this letter with an appropriate ode – i.e. a marketing tagline:


There are others in this business who claim to be purveyors of happiness…
… but only Nando’s delivers!


Wah wah, if I may say so myself.


With thanks (and eternal love),
Me.

29 comments:

  1. Discovered your blog through a link on Osman Khalid Butt's fanpage. LOVE your descriptions and your letter to Nandos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, redhum! Glad to have you reading :-)

      Delete
  2. Hai Aafia,

    you are going through challenging times and still find the chocolate-filled silver-foiled lining..hat's off to you..

    Hope your son gets well soon.. and you enjoy the chocolate indulgence in a more relaxed setting.

    till later
    take care

    Anu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My lovely Anu (whom I've never met),

      You are a chocolate-filled silver-foiled lining.

      xo,
      A

      Delete
  3. poor baby. you were writing this at three a.m.
    it's not going to go on forever. i promise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was supposed to be a funny post, btw, but upon revisiting it today it struck me that it's not funny AT ALL. Just goes to show that you can't force it!

      Thank you for the dilaasa! :-*

      Delete
  4. oh my god. that cake has a tinge of heaven in it. it not only melts in your mouth but makes you forget all kinds of trouble... i totally totally relate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RIGHT??!!! I knew there must be other followers of the Nando's chocolate cake out there.

      Delete
  5. What a heart wrenching letter! Nando's should make you their official spokesperson. And, it can't be all that bad, all the time, can it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They may not because of the frequent puke references! ;-) And yes, it's not that bad all the time. All these things are just rites of passage anyway, in the larger scheme of things.

      Delete
  6. chocolate...in all its forms...is what gets me thru the days. yes parenting young kids is wonderful, beautiful blablahblah...but its also pretty damn hard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oye did you ever go to Bombay Waalas while you were here?

      Delete
  7. you know today when i was washing the dishes i thought of your post and then impulsively i ordered the cake too, not one but too slices! lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. I honestly can't imagine a better outcome from this post. I swear I can't. :-D

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great, now I want chocolate cake from Nando's and not the one in Bah because the one in Bah isn't as divine as the one in Pak. The one in Bah is just so - Bah.

    Oh and btw. *HUG*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You mean they don't have a standard recipe?? That's so unfortunate.

      Delete
    2. "They" is in fact this Defence ki Aunty...I forget her name. The cakes were made by her originally and now her minions, cuz the business took off so. You can actually call her directly and buy the whole cake from her for a special occasion or sumthin...Rs2000-ish. I had her number. Bought the cake for the husbands 30th a few yrs ago.

      Delete
    3. That's right, I think it's Shama or Shabana or some such name. It's available in the SWOT group on facebook.

      I'm so jealous. And hungry.

      Delete
    4. She doesn't do it anymore :-( I think Nando's caught on and told her that it wasn't legit to sell on the side!

      Delete
  10. Love it!!! It is so truuuuuueeee!!! I was grumpy and grouchy the other day but after my husband brought me 'THE' chocolate cake from Nandos ...I was not grumpy and grouchy anymore!!!! What's more, me and my 5 yr old daughter finished every last morsel of it!!!! and i am HAPPY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. There really is magic in that cake...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Afia! While I relate completely on the chocolate cake front and on the exhaustion with cleaning up front.... Girl, get yourself several pairs of plastic gloves and a daily part timer! You're in Karachi, there are millions looking for work! nanny milti rahay gi, maasi to rakkho! No? My sister has a bunch of friends with little kids in khi-town. Will ask her and get back to you on nanny. SAA.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aneeqa you won't BELIEVE that over the last two weeks Azfar went to THREE different stores and NONE of them stocked plastic gloves. Oh wait, sorry, we were looking for rubber gloves. Goddamit, I should've just taken out plastic gloves from the hair dye box! Argh. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyway, my khala had a pair of rubber gloves and she gave those to me day before yesterday, and there's already a substantial improvement in the hands.

      Part-timers I'm still opting out of. Too many trust issues. PLEASE ask your sister. Thanks!

      Delete
  13. Wait a minute. SO is it just you, or does the cake make your son go too ;) and forget about the illness cuz of the excitement of the cake? Does he even know :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I SHARE THE CAKE WITH HIM?!!!

      Delete
  14. Nando rules! Mediterranean chicken salad (any flavor). Best meal in the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh God!!! The picture, the picture! My eeeyyyes!!!

      Delete
  15. Allergic to detergent eh? How convenient, hmmmph!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Array nahin, bhai, as it turned out it was obscenely INconvenient!

      Delete