Conversations with Calliope - Part IV

Calliope: i worked out yesterday

C: it took me 27 min to run 2 miles

C: how sad is that?

Me: YOU RAN TWO WHOLE MILES????

Conversations with Calliope - Part III

Me: Such a strange situation... when my son's awake, I want to throttle him. When he's going upstairs to be put to sleep, I want him to come back down.

Conversations with Calliope - Part II

Calliope: i want a daughter

C: i'll die if i dont have a girl

Me: Okay. But keep in mind that you could die of plenty of other things associated with having kids, regardless of the sex.

Me: Even if you make it through the pregnancy and deliver, the post-delivery period will probably kill you. If not, the first year of motherhood probably will.

Me: And if you make it through THAT, wait for the teenage years.

C: im hoping i'll make enough money to be able to afford all the help i need to keep me calm

Me: Calm mothers are LIARS.

C: hahaha

Me: Are you a LIAR?

Me: ARE YOU?

C: no

Me: HUH?

C: no

Me: HUH???

Me: Say 'no' once more... it'll add a nice, even tone to the conversation.

Conversations with Calliope - Part I

Calliope: why don't you start blogging?

Me: Because it would be a boring as HELL, completely self-absorbed load of crock and no one will want to read it.

C: i'll read it

Me: I have nothing intelligent to say anymore, another thing I hold against my child.

C: it can have pictures

C: it can be about afia and solom taking on texas

Me: The only way in which I've taken on Texas is to install a Muslim shower next to the commode.

C: i have a lota

Me: Yeah, the rest of the bathrooms have lotas.

C: my favorite part of going home is reaching the dubai airport and rediscovering muslim showers

Me: I SWEAR.

Me: It's SUCH a relief.

C: it's ALWAYS a pleasant surprise

C: "hello, old friend, i just realized how much i've missed you"