Honesty is the worst policy

Conversation with ultrasound specialist while she was scanning my throat.


Her: Your thyroid is fine. See? Left chamber - no abnormalities. Right chamber - nothing.


Me: But doctor, I've noticed that the size of my neck has suddenly increased over the last few years. If it's not the thyroid, what could it be?


Her: Obesity?

The Great Escape

Conversation with a very awake toddler, very late at night.


Solom: Where's DADA?


Me: Betay he's run away.


Solom: Where's BABA?


Me: He's run away too.


Solom: I think everyone's run away.


Me: Yes.


Solom: I think everyone's run away from MAMA!

On being fruity

Solom: Zainoo is STRAWberry, Mehreem is baNANA, Aun Bhai is WATERmelon.


Me: Wow! And Baba?


Solom: Baba is CHOCOLATE.


Me: Yum!!! And Mama?


Solom: Guava.

You only hear what you wanna hear

Watching 'Tangled' with Solom. Evil witch falls out of tower window.


Solom: LOOK MAMA AT WITCH, HE IS FALLING!!!!!


Me: She, not he.


Solom: SHE NAUGHTY.


Me: Noooo!!!!!


Solom: HE NAUGHTY. 


Me: I give up.


Solom: He is very naughty witch, Mama. He is very dirty and dusty. Bad witch.

#thatawkwardmomentwhen

you're unsuccessfully trying to pull a shirt on and you discover that it's still on a hanger.